SuperDave
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SuPeRBrAvEDaVe
Userid: 24993
Level: 56
Deaths Anarchy
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(2011.Jul.08 05:33 AM)SuperDave Wrote: Dealing with n00bs
n00bs are the primary cause for decline in online pop culture
Under no circumstances should you ever talk to a n00b. They are highly dangerous in their extreme radioactivity and the communication can be fatal. If you DO get in a direct conflict with a n00b, it is best to use one of the following tactics explained below.
HOWEVER* In some cases, n00bs can be there to laugh at and pick on while you get your enjoyment out of making them cry. REMEMBER: n00bs have a right to be shunned and laughed at among the whole gaming community.
n00bs are often confused on internet games with deranged, semi-conscious, amputated llamas with little brain matter, because of the similarity in their gameplay abilities. In the event of an encounter with a n00b, one should take the following precautions:
Turn off chat to prevent grammatically incorrect language overloads.
If you cannot disable chat, turn off your computer immediately and curl up on the floor in a brace position. Do not contact relatives as n00biness is contagious and can spread to your loved ones.
(2011.Jul.08 11:22 AM)SuperDave Wrote: Although its intent is to humiliate and degrade somebody, the word "n00b" sounds like the word penis, and actually implies that the person using the word:
Has no life, as suggested by the simple fact that they spend countless hours playing particular computer/video-games (World of Warcraft).
Believes UFOs will come to take them away and probe them (which is the closest thing they can get when it comes to sexual pleasure)
Thinks that the Federation could destroy the Star Wars Empire.
Has crush on Princes Leia and masturbates to her
Is covered in zits and pops them and is scientifically proven incapable of talking to girls.
Is constantly heard screaming "I sH007 uR 13G, wHY u N07 d13??"
Gets pWned constantly by 1337 H4xZoRz in DOTA.
Likes the opposite gender and spends all day eating mayonnaise, masturbating, and watching reruns of Star Trek, Power Rangers and plays World of Warcraft for 9 and three quarters of a hour.
Is losing touch of reality and thinks he's "Darkness", as stated above.
Is constantly using words which don't even make sense.
Is a purveyor of all things japanese, drawn, and jiggling. In extremely rare cases, the jiggling is omitted.
May also be called a FAIL.
Although the word itself can be rightfully used to describe an extremely annoying or stupid player, the above section still stands. Here are some common conceptions and facts about what nerds call, "n00bs":
Scientists conjecture that the common n00b phrase "Hael me plz!!1" is the closest thing n00bs possess to a battle cry. Some other common n00b phrases in MMORPGOMGLOLWTFBBQs are "giv me 1g". When the n00b gets owned they tend to utter phrases such as "im going to get ma dad to come round and shoot you if you do not give me money" and the common classic for Guild Whores
"hahaha i am the CS: Source champion of the US". Replace US with server country and CS: Source with 'FPS that has nothing to do with RPGs'.
Many L33T players agree that most n00bs' CAPS LOCK keys are permanently stuck in the down position at birth.
n00bs are also incapable of using the letter !, and are known to break out into a frenzy of 1s, or if in particular danger/pleasure/general confusion the random extension of 2s and even the ever-controversial " (speechmark) (the forever controversial invention of 1881). This may, however, be secret binary code sent to other n00bs, but that would just be silly. If so, the n00bs' mastery of ineptitude would most likely render both the encoding and decryption flawed, and the already incoherent messages they send would become even more difficult to understand.
The term is commonly confused with n00b, nub, and also q00u. This is a misconception, because, although n00bs are identical in every imaginable way to newbs, n00bs, and q00us, in reality each belongs to a different phylum in taxonomic classification. n00bs are more closely related to the common chocolate biscuit than to n00bs, or q00us.
Learning, maturity, age and intelligence are inversely proportional to one's propensity to call someone a "n00b". The younger and stupider you become, the more likely you are to call someone a "n00b" or a "fugly slit111". And no, young people are not entitled to use the internet as much as older people. This is because we are simply better than you, and always will be. Clearly, because you are "n00bs" at life, to use your own weird logic.
Source: N00b wankz R3s3arch ggr0up
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This post was last modified: 2018.Mar.07 03:09 PM by SuperDave.
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You pound Macleod to a bloody pulp. When you are satisfied at the pool of blood laying at your feet, you slip off into the shadows.
Experience Earned : Hospitalizations do not earn experience.
Hospitalization Time : 167
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