in order to become a mod, one must first join the circle in the middle of the forest, 17.3 miles east of rural decatur at 11:15 PM, only on Tuesdays. Be prepared with a live goat, as you will need it later. After you arrive at the circle, you must present your unequipped character to the leaders, and, provided you have a solid body, you will be accepted as a potential candidate.
After the initial round of examinations that slightly resembles a dog show, the mods-to-be must take their goat, and, at the stroke (haha, stroke) of midnight, your goat must be sacrificed using the weapon that does the most damage in gang wars. If you use the incorrect weapon, you are immediately disqualified. If you can not afford the correct weapon, then you are also disqualified.
After round 2, a debate begins to go around regarding a moderator's abilities and privileges. Once you prove your ability to strike down any opposition at the bat of an eyelash, and do it with little to no regard of the person you are striking down, you become a top candidate for the Moderator Squad (yes, Mod Squad). there are usually 3 top candidates per 4 months, and they are then granted access into the squad if they can do the 3 following things:
1) Mail a currently active moderator about a post or thread that needs editting or lock before that moderator is aware of it, showing their abilities to endlessly troll and pillage the countryside.
2) Post only 2 times per thread max, either staying mildly on topic or hinting that a thread may be going in the "wrong direction."
3) Piss all non-moderators off.
Once these qualities are approved over a 60 day period, they are either accepted or rejected, and the new moderator(s) join the crew. Afterwards, a new crew of potentials joins the flock, and the process begins anew.
I never got past the 2 post limit, as I tend to be verbose. Mehh!!
edit: For those who choose to be offended by this, it was a joke. Calm down. As BlackJeep eloquently put it, "It's just a game." Chill. |
