Scenario 1: I say that if a member is attacked online and then they return the favor the next day then so be it. Paybacks. Yes, stims are the way to go.
Scenario 2: That person attacked an offline member of the other gang. The leader of the gang mugged him for mucho dinero (Alot of money). He attacked that member because he did not like it that his offline member was attacked. I say he should have waited until he was offline also. BUT, if you would have said that he returned the attack because he saw your online member was attacked by him then I would say he was supporting the gang family and it was OK and the money he got was a bonus. However, you said actions which meant he was taking the fact that his offline member was attacked also. So, he should have waited then. Just my $.0000001 opinion here. And yes, it does suck for non-donators as their refresh rate is very bad. I personally say that if people are unable to donate real money then build up your cash in the bank and when you see a good deal on credits buy some of those and as soon as you get 500 Voila 30 day donator pack.
I can also attest to what Punisher said about sending stims to people if they are in the hospital. Many moons ago I logged in a few minutes after being hit and was sent stims. Even by other players as well.