(DO NOT POST HERE TO BITCH OR COMPLAIN THIS IS MENT ONLY AS A FUN THREAD)
Follow along or add to it if you like
DISCLAIMER
:shock: The following story is based on fiction. Any character resemblance whether physically, facially or nasty body odor is only a coincidence.No royalties will be passed on to any person or persons claiming to be one of the people portrayed in this story. This is a copy righted material and cannot be duplicated, copied or electronically passed on without the authors consent, :shock:
I cant believe i actually have to put this in. and NO to those that have sent me mails I will not send you any royalty checks
Due to a total infestation of rodents and other creepy crawlers. It has now become apparent that there is a need for some exterminators.
IM sure some of you have suffered from those nasty little bites in turn festering and forcing you to short or long hospital stays.
Well we of the AL Pesticide Home Service (not affiliated to Awakened Lands management or ownership)
Are here to service the problem.
We will be taking immediate steps. Our current program will commence with the cropping of nose ,ear and back hairs.Once this has been done We will attempt to potty train these pests. This could take some time, as it appears some of them have not learned the correct procedure for the use of toilet paper.
Due to extensive elective surgery by Sarge AKA Private and Cris they will be receiving Electro-shock therapy in the hopes of realigning loose brain cells. We do hope that it will also help out in removing the adult acne they seem to be suffering from.
Now Yoda will be a special case since he seems to spend a lot of time in space. We have had to prepare special traps. A large assortment of Star Wars,Star trek and Andromeda figure toys and accessories are being used as bait.
Once captured our psychologist will attempt to introduce him to reruns of the power puff girls and Barny.
This will be a long procedure as currently test studies have showed that most subjects think themselves little green aliens with pointy ears,stuby legs and the body of a beer keg are extremely difficult to reintroduce to society.
At one point most pests associated with this ailment have been placed in front of homes replacing the lawn Gnomes a second benefits is that they are great at scarring little children and chasing away stray animals.
But they do have a habit of leaving brown little gifts all over the place.
Our Scientists and Sanatarary Engineers are currently working on plans to help the remainder of the pests.
Additional posts will be made as new procedures are implemented.
Now the AL Pest Control Service is an independently owned and operated company.
At this time we are looking for independent contractors who will be willing to take on this most horrendous job for the betterment of the community and our health.
So please post your resume on this thread. We do urge you to take into consideration the long hours that will be spent in recovering from applying the treatments. This is not a job to take lightly but it is an enjoyable one.
Aha, binoculars may do the trick.